Does anybody care anyway?

I was motivated to blog today because of a friend's blog I read today.  I want to blog more often but I often think of myself as a crappy writer and what's the point- everyone is too busy with their own lives to care about my little blog that I hardly write in anyway.   This is the NEGATIVE THINKING that keeps me from turning my good intended thoughts about my goals into reality.  So I'm going to try to not care about what others think for a moment and just write.  

Today I went to an appointment and brought Darling #1 with me.   After my appointment, we went to get pancakes at a supposedly great pancake place---Pancake Pantry.  Not impressed.  We were the 3rd in line and still had to wait 15 minutes for a table and then had to wait another 5-10 minutes to be acknowledged by a waitress.  The waitress was nice and all but the hostess was blah.  Tables were way too close together.   I was concerned somewhat about this because Darling #1 has a tendency to invade others space.  The pancakes were average and overpriced.   The one interesting thing about our visit was the conversation next to us.  We were so close to the next table I could hear every word.  Two college girls probably no more than 20-21 talking sex, birth control and about their annoying friends.  One of the most interesting tidbits was the fact that they enjoyed making their guys or girlfriends (I wasn't quite clear on this) jealous, on purpose!   This amused me and saddened me at the same time.  Is this what I sounded like at 21?  God, I hope not. 

All in a days work

Today was a good day.  My children have only had 1 or 2 outbursts today.  My stress level is down.   Darling #1 went to his Gymboree preschool this morning.  I had my fingers crossed that his behavior would be ok.  He had several tantrums last week.   I asked the teacher if there was anything I could do to help her out so I sent her his behavior management plan from his therapist.  She said his behavior today was great after he had a timeout first thing after he got there.  I guess he started screaming shortly after I left and did not want to participate.  Prior to receiving the behavior management plan Gymboree's normal way to deal with kiddos having some problems listening is to use positive redirection.  I explained to her that my son may not respond to that at all times and it is ok to use a timeout with him.  He listened for the remainder of class.

Darling #2 participated in his Gymboree class but from a friendly distance.   I stay with him in his class because it is a mommy and child class.  Darling #2 does not have any language issues but he does copy some of his brothers negative behaviors such as being too aggressive with other kids at times and not listening.  I worry at times about his development when I see him line up toys, walk on his toes and have multiple tantrums but I'm keeping a close eye on his language and social interactions and they are so far up to speed.

After Gymboree, Darling #1 worked with his speech therapist on following rules.  They played Candyland and she made a social story for him.  After speech, we went outside and of course Darling #1 gets on the swing or tricycle.  He loves to swing and race his tricycle.  He would do this all day and be perfectly content.  He has found another new love:  digging in the dirt.  This is kind of amusing because Darling #1 does not like most sticky or dirty substances on his hands and often complains if they are dirty.  Go figure!

After being outside we came in and watched some TV.  TV is a calming factor in our house for the most part.  It's one of the ways I am able to clean up the kitchen or take a shower.

Husband arrived home a short while ago and in the ideal world this is where I could take a short break.  But this is not usually the case.  Today as soon as he got home he said hi to us and then feel asleep on the chair.  He has since migrated to the bed.  Oh well. 

I have to go to the store tonight, so I'm hoping he's not going to bed for the night.  Otherwise I will have to take the darlings too.  I really don't want to take them to the store with me because they can be so distracting and I always end of forgetting something.    Going to a store for groceries or occassionally going to the gym is my break.  A working break.  I guess I have to take whatever break I can't get.  A Big Mamma's work is never done.

Good Ole' Fashioned Fun

Today was a good day.  I took the boys outside to ride their tricycles.  They raced their riding toys with the neighbor kids down our hill in our front yard.  They had a blast.  It was beautiful weather, almost 60 degrees.  The boys were worn out after it was all over with.  The boys are getting along better and better each day.  I am so happy to be their "Big" mamma!

Vices

My vice is food.  Very little alcohol and I do not use tobacco products.  Unfortunately, I have a double dose of guilt when I use food to soothe my soul because my professional background is in the nutrition field.   I definitely know better and I know of healthier ways to manage my emotions.  Creature of habit, I admit.  I love pretty much anything that is sweet (unless if it has cheese in it).  You would think that someone like me doesn't like a lot of healthy foods.  But that is far from the truth.  I actually prefer healthy foods like vegetables, lean meats, fruits most of the time.  The sweet intake usually happens at night and if I am self soothing in the daytime it usually is something fried.    The sad thing is that I hide sometimes when eating sweets or fried foods because I do not want my kids to eat those foods as much as I do.  I try hard to make sure that they have a relatively healthy diet.  I am working on using other ways to help me deal with my emotions such as deep breathing and a little exercise here and there.  Unfortunately, I'm not in the mindset to start a full fledged exercise routine, like the one I had prior to kids.  I know I will eventually go back to a regular exercise program, someday.

Good Times!

It was so nice to see my darlings interacting well with each other and their cousins tonight!  So refreshing.  I also was able to spend some quality adult time with the other adults and actually have a conversation. Thanks, Netflix, for keeping the kids entertained.

Coming up next....What's your vice?  Stay tuned.

No Pain, No Gain

My resolution that I set every year:  exercise more.  Why is it so damn hard to get started again?  I've had the wonderful experience of being in an exercise groove, but that was before children.  I remember how I would wake up looking forward to the gym.  My body wanted it and needed it.  My hubby has been able to keep to his resolution of exercising more.  I'm very proud of him.  He has stuck to his routine for the past four days.  Now if I could just follow his lead.  Today, I will make a little dent in the exercise arena.  I am taking Darling #2 to the park later.  It's a start.   

Trains, Trains, Trains!

I wasn't originally going to blog about autism because it's already in my thoughts when I wake up and when I go to bed, and I wanted to have the "blog" help take my mind off  "it" for awhile and talk about something else.  However, today I really felt that Darling #1 was really on another planet, or should I say, island.  Yes, island is more precise.  The Island of Sodor to be exact.  When he woke up, all he could talk about was trains: him being a train, which trains are faster, stronger, when can he watch Thomas, and on and on.  It's so hard to get him to change the subject sometimes.  I get tired of repeating his name, repeating directions, listening to the screaming  (because I said no), the anger from Darling #1 directed toward Darling #2 if things don't go just so, Darling #2 copying his brother's negative behavior and so on.   Darling #1 has an autism spectrum disorder and he is on the higher end of the spectrum.  He is only mildly affected by autism.  Not everything is gloom and doom, just some days it feels like it.  Good.  Got that off my chest.   I should add though that Santa Claus is partly to blame though for the train obsession, because he brought the boys more friends for Thomas and Percy.  The look on their faces when they opened those trains was priceless and that made mommy and daddy smile. 

On to something else.  New Years Resolutions.   Anyone make one?  Anyone want to share?